propanolol, xanax

by Kenna Hickock



i’m thinking of the papercuts
i will get from your shirt’s collar
the tech arrow through tongue muscle
picking you off of the hardwood and
folding you against me, neatly
wearing affection knotted
like a tie at my throat
dipping hands into divine wax and keeping
it hot, always
i fucked up a few times
put out the flame with my fingers and it
made the sound i like, wet not like
you saying “uhhh” on the telephone
(the rock that i trip over, the dirt in my mouth)
we’re all taking pills.
georgina is slowing down her heart in front of me
i’m drugged and thinking about the obscenity of caviar
(the wet, the life, the salt) or of bare knees
but mostly i am thinking of freckles like
mud on the nose like a small spray of salt water
that i might lick away
you said “against the wall” and i shivered
i can’t afford a $300 dinner but someone else is paying
and i don’t care about much but
the icicle of your neck at my hand
like a proverbial sparrow
today i look nice and feel like the tip of a match
i think about wachau, prädikat
death on the lees, hard to the lee
“prepare to come about.”
“ready about.”
cut through glass like water, visible wake
you are like brushing through nettles, stirring
wild animals and the ends of their faces like ants
stinging their way up my thighs
(because you said
“against the wall”)
i’m going to slow my heart down, too
become the stop-motion rubber band
aimed at your chest
there is potential, it’s like lake baikal
i wonder if i will be able to tell when it happens:
the line being cut, when i begin to feel
less skin, more wool
everyone is talking about bone marrow and
in this moment we are
the ultimate violence,
slathering each other with lust
ripping off bandages, slowly removing our glasses
i’m silent i can’t speak
like an owl’s wing like nocturnal thoughts i don’t
even know what beta blockers are, what you are to me
something always above my head
young games in the swimming pool i could write “you”
1000 times and “you” would know what i mean

Kenna Hickock can be found at http://dreammpop.tumblr.com/. Some of her writing can be found at http://fredmeyer.tumblr.com/.

These words and more can be found inside the first issue of No Assholes Literary Magazine.

WE ARE NOW ACCEPTING POETRY, PROSE, AND CREATIVE NON-FICTION SUBMISSIONS FOR OUR SECOND ISSUE. Visit our Tumblr or Facebook page, or email NALiteraryMagazine@gmail.com, for more information.

Apr. 23 2012
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    by Kenna Hickock i’m thinking of the papercuts i will get from your shirt’s collar the tech arrow through tongue muscle...
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    l-o-l
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